The majority of my patients come to therapy, because they are feeling stuck. They describe a sticking point, that they are un-able to navigate, on their own. They come to therapy, when the stuck feeling becomes intolerable, and begins to sabotage other parts of their lives, or their relationships with their loved ones. I submit this: the true sticking, originates from a lack of tolerance of our Awarenesses, and then the judgements we abuse ourselves with, for not allowing our Awarenesses to be empowered. One of the first questions we ask in therapy, when we are presented with a "problem", is: “What is correct about this?” The sticking point, begins as a defense mechanism against a pain, or terrible injury. We create defense mechanisms, in order to survive- and that survival instinct is so beautiful, isn’t it? Sadly, over time, the defense mechanisms become a problem, when we over-generalize, and over-apply it to all current situations.
So...how do we get unstuck? The first step is to create compassion, for our context. We must ask and understand, what was correct for ourselves, when we created this sticking point. After we move into the place of self-compassion and our context, in our healing and personal evolution, is to come into acceptance and appreciation, for our Awarenesses. This what we avoid when we drink, engage in any addictive process, engage in denial, emotionally "shut down", neglect our bodies, or don't call our therapists. Embracing our Awarenesses is scary, and sometimes involves losses. Awarenesses clarify our childhood injuries, our needs, our vulnerabilities, the requirements to leave an abusive marriage, to get to a doctor for those odd pains in our bodies, to change our habits, or to leave that job before it kills us. These are common examples of Awarenesses that we avoid experiencing.
How do we know it is correct to pay attention to our Awarenesses? We know, from our own evidences, that our Awarenesses are our truths. It is when we operate from our Awarenesses, that we fully experience peace, joy, the most gratifying connections with our loved ones- and it is when the miracles in our lives, happen. Correct? Intuition. Paying attention. Gratitude. Enjoying nature. Observing animals and small children, as they live in the present moment, without any "stuck-ness". I call it, Being Awake. Clear.
I invite your responses, experiences, and questions, related to this journey.Carol Roberts, MA, LPC, LMFT Licensed Psychotherapist www.valentiaheartcounseling.com, [email protected]